A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- ummm "No." this is a hardware store .. we sell hardware stuff .
- "Got any fresh oranges or apples ?"
- "No.! I just told you , this is a hardware store .
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No." !!!!
- "Got any oranges or apples ?"
- "No.!!!! I told you yesterday, we don’t sell that stuff here ! and If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor so you get the hint !!!"
the next day, the duck walks in and asks:
- "Got any nails?"
- "NO!!!!."
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
this is just one of those lil jokes that stick with ya .. you may find yourself chuckling about it in an hour from now .. even rehearsing it later tonight .. not sure why , or what it is about this joke ,, but its addictive .. so i thought i'd share .
you can thank me or blame me later
Tags:
;-)
Aguy is travelling through Spain,and goes to a bull fight,has a great time,then decides to get something to eat.He finds a little cafe and asks for the house special,10 minutes later the waiter brings him a large dish with 2 huge balls on it,guy shrugs his shoulders and chows down.It was delicious,so the guy came back 4 days in a row and enjoyed an astounding meal,then on the 5th day he orders the same again,but the waiter only brings him 2 tiny balls on a large plate.The guy demands to know what's going on,and the waiter replies 'senor,the bullfighter doesn't allways win'
XD
A man goes into a strange bar and everyone looks up at him, and then ignores him and continues chatting amongst themselves, all except the barman who's quite friendly, so the man asks him why the others are so unfriendly? The barman says 'they just have to get used to you first, you tell them a joke and it'll break the ice'! So the man says 'O.K. how about this one then'? and tells them a joke about an actress and a bishop! He ended the joke with the punch line and then waited for the reaction! Suddenly a midget who'd been sitting quietly in the corner reading a newspaper jumped up and ran from woman to woman, quickly squeezing their breasts before sitting back down and picking up his newspaper again! The stranger was amazed, he said 'wow, what was all that about'? The barman said 'it happens every time, as soon as someone cracks a joke, a little titter runs through the room'!
XD
:-o
A bit late, George W was president ages ago.
Jack forgot his 14th anniversary. Carol was very pissed about that and told Jack: tomorow, i want a gift on the driveway that goes from 0 to 60 under 6 seconds"
next day there was a wrapped present on the driveway. Carol took it inside and unwrapped it and found a new scale in it.
Jack is missing for 5 days now.
lol
What do politicians and babies diapers have in common? they are both full of crap and need changing on a regular basis!
I went into a music shop and asked 'do you have anything by 'the doors'? The girl behind the counter said 'yes sir we do,
a fire extinguisher and two buckets of sand'!
What was Momma Cass's favourite musical instrument at school? = The dinner bell!
A company is developing a music chip that stores thousands of songs and they will be fitted inside women's breast implants, now let them moan that men just stare at their breasts, but never listen to them!
Two chavs in a car and there's no music playing, who's driving? = The police!
The other week I saw 'Sting' the singer walking along the seafront here in Brighton, I had to shout across the road 'Hi Sting, I've got every single one of your records at home'! He smiled and raised his hand in a salute, nice guy! He's gonna be pissed when he gets home and finds out he's been burgled though!
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