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Kazoo Killer

These lyrics were inspired by my new Friend, James, who decided to put 11 cheap plastic kazoos out of everyone's misery...and video'd himself doing it.

Kazoo Killer

Today I woke from a terminal dream
The gnomes in the garden heard my gurgling scream
None of them suspected that my burgeoning scheme
Might demand the fiery death of a kazoo.

The buzzing of a comb, the whispers of a gnome
Are enough to drive a normal man insane;
But the humming of kazoos is enough to fuel the blues
That infect the inner workings of my brain.

I'm a Kazoo Killer, baby,
That's just somethin' that I think you oughta know
Through the fire and the flame, you don't need to know my name,
All you gotta do is Hum...don't Blow..

Though she wanted to refuse, when I told her she must choose,
She supplied me with my objects of desire.
I had nothing left to lose, when I fed her 12 kazoos
To the curling skeins of cleansing propane fire.

While the colors streamed and ran, I continued with my plan
And hummed until the 'zoos had turned to sludge.
Though the last kazoo was dead, it could truly then be said
I'm the kind of man who's known to hold a grudge.

Yeah, I'm a Kazoo Killer, baby,
I think that's something' that you really oughta know
Through the fire and the flame, you don't need to know my name;
All you gotta do is Hum...don't Blow.

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Permalink Reply by Clock The Wolf on January 18, 2012 at 8:56am

"HE'S BACK, AND THIS TIME... IT'S PERSONAL!"

"Jon Seebeejee, former Navy Seal turned world class nacho sauce mixer, just wanted to live in

peace with his loving family, his dog Shane, and his cigar box guitar, leaving the nightmare of

the spilled molten cheese far behind him. But there was one man who could not, would not,

forget... Kazoo Al-Mahdi, bloodthirsty leader of the Cleveland Alkazoo Brotherhood, whose own

son had been strangled by the guitar string now attached to the diddley bow of Jon Seebeejee's

innocent young daughter! Now, Jon Seebeejee must take on the brotherhood, trusting no one,

armed only with his cigar box guitar... and a single canister of propane!"

---Night Of The Kazoo,

Lobert Rudlem

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on January 18, 2012 at 8:09pm

Now out on video and DVD!

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Permalink Reply by James on January 18, 2012 at 10:34am

oh my god!!! now thats funny, this song tops burning those things!!! good work!!!

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on January 18, 2012 at 11:38am

kazoo hate propaganda ... is still widely accepted . ;-) it aint murder ... its pest control. ;-)

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Permalink Reply by James on January 18, 2012 at 5:04pm

http://www.cigarboxnation.com/video/fever-goats-when-you-live-in-a-...

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on January 18, 2012 at 9:05pm

rare new found video footage ,

( click "open" to watch the movie )

http://www.jumpingjokes.com/Ecards/SelectCard.php?EcardText=1326960...

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on January 18, 2012 at 10:27pm

Thanks, pick! Hehehehe...

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on January 18, 2012 at 11:24pm

;-) spooky stuff ;-)

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on January 24, 2012 at 8:53am

Jim,

Thanks! I gotta put those words to a tune for Jamesy.

No can do on #1; technically, I work for them. As far as #2 goes, most of the BLs here disowned 'Sammy awhile back - and I don't come into contact with 'em - too lowly, wrong tribe (expat).

Last I heard, Bush and Cheney were still in the US, Hitler was doin' the cyanide tango, Mengele got caught by the Israelis, and Old Scratch is still waitin' at the crossroads for the next Robert Johnson.

But maybe I can check in on Elvis, see what he's up to...