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I Don't Like Spam!

Can I get Spam instead of the beans?

Just a little more than 16 years ago my wife and I got married. We'd been together for a few years and figured out that no one else would have us, so we might as well settle on each other. Now, both of us are way to stubborn to quit and truly the only way out is death.

Our marriage started from the first moment to be a running stream of jokes and I'll have to take you back a bit for my first one.

I grew up in a house with two religions. The Methodist branch of the Protestant yaddah yaddah and the NY Giants/Yankees. We all went to church on Sunday in our small town and then again in the afternoon at home if the Giants or Yankees were on TV. This all went on until I was about 12. My growing lack of interest in organized religion was countered by my mother's increasing closeness with the church leading up to her becoming a Methodist minister. Almost immediately after she became "official" she offered to perform our wedding ceremony. And who was I to refuse?

Now onto the real meat of the matter. During the pre-ceremony deal, my mother inquired whether we were going to exchange rings. I knew of no other option but asked if there were any other customs we might consider. I really don't care for jewelry and still don't wear my ring.

Mom says "Sure. You can exchange anything."

I verify, "Anything?"

"Yes, if you don't have rings, you may exchange something else."

She didn't know that my wife's Aunt, a goldsmith, had made custom rings.

So I say, "Anything? Even. . .a can of Spam?"

"Well. . ."

"You said anything."

And so I offered my lovely wife a can of Spam as a symbol of our everlasting marriage. Yep, there are pictures to prove it. My mother didn't much care for the lighthearted jest during her solemn ceremony. . .but it was sort of her idea. Or at least she left me an opening.

This is relevant today because my wife was doing some school shopping for our daughters and found a lunchbox she thought I should have to make into a guitar.

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Comment by Bad Finger (Eric) on August 12, 2013 at 1:36am: The SPAMinator! I love it. My daughters love Phineas and Ferb. It's the guitar whose notes destroy all factory guitars!

Comment by Kentucky Mojo on August 11, 2013 at 11:13am: ha ha ... beautiful! If it's a resonator you can call it the SPAMONATOR.

Comment by Bad Finger (Eric) on August 8, 2013 at 2:01pm: My mistake Oily. I thought you were alluding to another skit.

We actually haven't eaten meat in almost 12 years - except for the occasional bit of fresh sea food in Boston.

Comment by Muddy Creek Guitars on August 8, 2013 at 1:06pm: Great story! I can't wait to see the guitar!

Comment by Ron "Oily" Sprague on August 8, 2013 at 12:58pm: Your wife likes SPam Oven Roasted Turkey?

Comment by Clock The Wolf on August 8, 2013 at 12:41pm

Comment by Bad Finger (Eric) on August 8, 2013 at 12:38pm: My wife enjoys sport.

Regarding the Spam upside down mess..., "Look. I couldn't eat another thing. I'm absolutely stuffed. Bugger off."

Comment by Ron "Oily" Sprague on August 8, 2013 at 10:42am: But...do you like...SPORT?

Comment by Bad Finger (Eric) on August 7, 2013 at 7:53am: My dad would occasionally "treat" himself and us to fried Spammiches on a lunch break from farm work. If we were really good, we'd get a fried egg on top.