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SO... A DUCK WALKS INTO A HARDWARE STORE .....

A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- ummm "No." this is a hardware store .. we sell hardware stuff .
- "Got any fresh oranges or apples ?"
- "No.! I just told you , this is a hardware store .
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No." !!!!
- "Got any oranges or apples ?"
- "No.!!!! I told you yesterday, we don’t sell that stuff here ! and If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor so you get the hint !!!"
the next day, the duck walks in and asks:
- "Got any nails?"
- "NO!!!!."
- "Got any fresh fruit?"

this is just one of those lil jokes that stick with ya .. you may find yourself chuckling about it in an hour from now .. even rehearsing it later tonight .. not sure why , or what it is about this joke ,, but its addictive .. so i thought i'd share .

you can thank me or blame me later

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on June 13, 2013 at 11:17am

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Permalink Reply by skuff watson on June 13, 2013 at 3:46pm

;)

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Permalink Reply by skuff watson on June 13, 2013 at 3:57pm

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a ...case of Miller Lite and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife. 'They're on sale, only $10 for 24 cans', he replies. 'Put them back, it's a waste of money', demands the wife, and so he does and they carry on shopping.
A few aisles further on along, the woman picks up a $20 jar of ...face cream and puts it in the basket. ... What do you think you're doing?' asks the husband... "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,' replies the wife.
Her husband retorts: 'So does 24 cans of Miller Lite and it's half the price....'
HUSBAND DOWN, AISLE 7 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on June 13, 2013 at 4:50pm

lol

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Permalink Reply by Dan on June 17, 2013 at 5:04am

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman..They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubbery.

The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out-of-breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?'

She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's!

But let's change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you poop on its head.'

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on June 17, 2013 at 5:38am

;-)

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Permalink Reply by Clock The Wolf on June 17, 2013 at 7:55am

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on June 17, 2013 at 8:02am

lol

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Permalink Reply by Thomas "Duck" Petry on June 17, 2013 at 9:49am

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Permalink Reply by skuff watson on June 30, 2013 at 2:09pm

Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One is holding

a cross, the other one is holding the Star of David. Many people go by,

look at both beggars but only put money into the hat of the beggar holding

the cross.

Eventually the Pope comes by. He stops to watch the
throngs of people
giving money to the beggar who holds the cross while none
give to the beggar
holding the Star of David.

Finally, the Pope
approaches the beggar with the Star of David and says,
"My poor fellow,
don't you understand? This is a Catholic country and this
city is the seat
of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if
you sit there
holding the Star of David, especially when you're sitting
beside
a

beggar who is holding a cross. In fact, they would probably give more

money to him just out of spite".

The beggar with the Star of David
listens politely to the Pope, smiles,
then turns to the beggar with the
cross and says, "Moishe, look who's trying
to teach the Goldstein brothers
about marketing!"