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SO... A DUCK WALKS INTO A HARDWARE STORE .....

A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- ummm "No." this is a hardware store .. we sell hardware stuff .
- "Got any fresh oranges or apples ?"
- "No.! I just told you , this is a hardware store .
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No." !!!!
- "Got any oranges or apples ?"
- "No.!!!! I told you yesterday, we don’t sell that stuff here ! and If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor so you get the hint !!!"
the next day, the duck walks in and asks:
- "Got any nails?"
- "NO!!!!."
- "Got any fresh fruit?"

this is just one of those lil jokes that stick with ya .. you may find yourself chuckling about it in an hour from now .. even rehearsing it later tonight .. not sure why , or what it is about this joke ,, but its addictive .. so i thought i'd share .

you can thank me or blame me later

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Permalink Reply by Bad Finger (Eric) on January 26, 2013 at 10:42am

It's a witch!

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Permalink Reply by RTZGUITARS on January 26, 2013 at 3:00pm

Saint Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.

The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."

St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"

The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."

"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"

The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."

"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?"

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on January 26, 2013 at 3:09pm

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on January 27, 2013 at 7:42am

Who are you, so wise in the ways of Science?

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on January 26, 2013 at 5:28pm

(more grossly inappropriate) the gay guy walks in wit 3 friends .... the bartender pulls a stool out and turns it upside down for them .

:-o

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Permalink Reply by Mark Lindsay on January 26, 2013 at 7:48pm

Two men went to the gym to play a little racquetball. In the locker room, they start to change into their gym clothes. One guy takes off his coat and tie and unbuttons his shirt to reveal a frilly pink bra. His buddy notices, but doesn't say anything.

Then the guy unbuttons and drops his trousers to reveal a matching pair of frilly pink panties. His buddy sees them and can't help himself.

"So, ummm... Nice outfit, Dave. How long you been wearing that stuff?"

His buddy looks down at his outfit and says, "Ever since my wife found them in my car."

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Permalink Reply by Clock The Wolf on January 26, 2013 at 11:17pm

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on January 27, 2013 at 8:35am

X-D

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Permalink Reply by Rich on January 31, 2013 at 11:11am

A pair of jumper cables goes into a bar ...

The bartender says :

" OK, You can stay ... but don't start anything ! "

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on January 31, 2013 at 1:25pm

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Permalink Reply by Peter Greed on February 1, 2013 at 11:38am

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the barman says “Hey you’re famous around here; we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says “Wow you’ve got a drink called Steve.”

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Permalink Reply by Clock The Wolf on February 1, 2013 at 11:40am

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!