New lyrics - "As The Worm Turns"
As The Worm Turns (with apologies to Dr. Suess, Robert Service, Rudyard Kipling, and soap opera TV)The twangers and bangers did all gather roundTo cuss and discuss the details of their sound.But one thing that stumped both the bright and infirmWas the why and the which of the turn of the worm.While some scratched their headstocks, and others their nuts,The rest filed advice couched in ifs, ands, or buts."No skin off my nose," said the one with thick derm,"I don't give a damn 'bout the turn of the worm!""I've never had failures, I've never had breaks;This ain't like the Parsi Man's dreadful mistakes.I just pops 'em in 'til they stand proud and firm -Who cares how the string meets the turn of the worm?"But then from the back of the crowd of onlookersA small wispy voice hushed the sinners and hookers:"My name is Twice Twister, from Hole-Under-Berm;You must all heed my warning 'bout how turns the worm!"The fiddle-dee dermed one, whose nose was unskint,Found his smiling face freezing, somewhat set like flint;The Twister's alarm gripped his ears like a germ,With its repeated rubric of how turns the worm:"The string should swing sweetly, inside of the post,And go through the hole like a Z, not a ghost,While the wraps should wrap downward, not curled like a perm,So the gear, with less stress, teethes the turn of the worm.""Therefore, the post should stand both firm and proud,But nearest the nut," intoned Twice to the crowd,More ingenious than Pratchett's famed Leonard of Quirm:"The key must be headward to help turn the worm."The flinty-faced fiddler, that seller of song,Of how it don't matter, that there was no "wrong,"Responded, half-hissing, full-hoping he'd squirmWhile he twisted Twice Twister's turn-tale of the worm:"Mister Twister," he said, "if what you say is true,Then please explain why my way works like it do,For it violates every Twice Twister term;It simply don't matter which way turns the worm!"Like a tennis match, back and forth, all day it went:The Twisting of Twice Twister's calm argument.But adamantine, like a rock he stood firm,Awash in the current of how turns the worm.Toward sundown, Twice Twister produced a necked box,And proceeded to twist on some strings, in his socks;As the twang tension mounted, the hookers did squirm,For they'd intimate knowledge of the turn of the worm.Then he handed it, tuned, to the treasonous oneWho, crowd-tempted, tried to twist Twice for fun.Twice silently motioned him notes to affirm,Thus playfully testing his turn of the worm.The fiddlestick four-flusher sourly complied,Wondering what trick might be hiding inside.But the notes jangled tuneful, without any SturmOr Drang to destabilize Twice Twister's worm.Abashed, he handed the box back to Twice,Who proceeded to bend, hammer on, slide like ice.The lesson thus learned, it was his turn to squirm,As he choked on his diet of Twice Twisted worm.
Ron "Oily" Sprague's Blog
Posted on November 29, 2016 at 6:15pm
Welp, our time in the Sandbox is coming to an end. As of Nov 17, I was "retired" at age 57 from the company I've been working for the last 14 years. This is a big deal here, because 1) I'm not ready to retire, and 2) we are losing a) the relatively nice home we moved into in April, and b) our community in which we are so heavily involved in Theater, baseball, quilting, chorale, church choir, my wife's service sorority, her job as a librarian at the nearby elementary school (today is her last… Continue
Posted on August 23, 2013 at 11:56pm
1) That the history of the cigar box, and thus the history of the cigar box guitar, places the cigar box no earlier than the 1840's, about 20 years prior to the Civil War, and
2) That the earliest known engraving or picture of a cigar box instrument shows two Union soldiers sitting in camp, one of them playing a homemade fiddle made from a Figaro cigar box,
I found this announcement from late July this summer particularly interesting:…
Posted on August 1, 2013 at 3:30pm
Well, my wife really surprised me! She left today for Vegas for a girls' weekend with her old sorority sisters from Houston, but before she went, I was telling her about my ultimate acoustic guitar lust object: a Taylor 914ce acoustic-electric Grand Auditorium, Venetian cutaway, Indian rosewood back and sides, Sitka spruce top, abalone rosette and purfling. I had seen a flawless used one at GC last week for $2899 ( new they are almost $6 K). She said, "Well, you never ask for much, and you did… Continue
Posted on March 31, 2012 at 12:24am
So, sometimes, I can't write a lyric for spit. Other times, they just seem to flow through me, like the bad chicken burrito you had for lunch from the little street cart.
One of the ways I deal with it is to play with words and word order. For example, I like to start with song titles, but frequently, the Aether has other ideas, and sends me single lines, as images. One of these just popped into my head on seeing the CBN Group title, The Blues Exchange. First, I ran that all… Continue