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Dead Clown Tools

So I'm driving along the backroads near where I live, and I approach this particular place where a family of clowns used to live. (Yeah, that's what I said, a family of clowns.) They were once a staple of every area parade and festival around these parts. Their clown car was always parked out along the side of the house, and it always made me smile when I drove past. (presumably they had another 'regular' car for their ordinary comings and goings.)

. . . anyway, I'm just thinkin' to myself that I hadn't seen hide nor hair of these clowns in the longest time - when I notice some rusty ancient old tools that have been hauled out to the road with a 'FREE' sign taped on 'em.

Well never one to pass up free tools, I snatch 'em up and haul 'em home . . . and I'll be damned if they're not just the items I need to finish up my makeshift cbg workshop .

I scored this primeval scroll saw:

AND LOoK AT THIS MUTHA . . .

It's a homemade, cobbled together, clown-hacked drill press. I LOVE IT.

(The drill motor didn't come with it, and doesn't quite fit in the mount. I just sat it there to give an idea of how it would work.)

Anybody else got any scarfed freebie tools to showoff?

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Permalink Reply by Roosterman on July 3, 2009 at 11:30pm

You wont believe this but I think I might be able to top your dead clown tools Knotlenny! Hows about a Dead Clown Bus??? My mate recently moved into a place where a family of clowns lived for donkeys years. Parked up in the woods are 2 early 1960s double decker clown buses, free for the taking!! Ok, so they have been there for maybe 20 years and arnt as useful as your tools, but one has even had the roof removed and a red and white big top installed!! How cool would that be as a tour bus?? Lol

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Permalink Reply by Kevin Sprague (Knotlenny) on July 4, 2009 at 3:34am

Eureka! Randy, between my experience and yours . . . I think I'm ready to make a hypothesis. The archeological evidence is overwhelming. There must have once been a vast civilization of Clowns that once inhabited the earth! I think it's clear that we must be the evolutionary decendants.
Randy Rooster (Ben) said:

You wont believe this but I think I might be able to top your dead clown tools Knotlenny! Hows about a Dead Clown Bus???
My mate recently moved into a place where a family of clowns lived for donkeys years. Parked up in the woods are 2 early 1960s double decker clown buses, free for the taking!! Ok, so they have been there for maybe 20 years and arnt as useful as your tools, but one has even had the roof removed and a red and white big top installed!!

How cool would that be as a tour bus?? Lol

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Permalink Reply by Doc Oakroot on July 4, 2009 at 4:46am

Cool stuff. I want a bus like that, lol. I may actually build a drill press like that - I keep finding myself needing more controlled drilling and that would solve it.
Knotlenny said:

Eureka!

Randy, between my experience and yours . . . I think I'm ready to make a hypothesis.
The archeological evidence is overwhelming. There must have once been a vast civilization of Clowns that once inhabited the earth! I think it's clear that we must be the evolutionary decendants.

Randy Rooster (Ben) said:

You wont believe this but I think I might be able to top your dead clown tools Knotlenny! Hows about a Dead Clown Bus???
My mate recently moved into a place where a family of clowns lived for donkeys years. Parked up in the woods are 2 early 1960s double decker clown buses, free for the taking!! Ok, so they have been there for maybe 20 years and arnt as useful as your tools, but one has even had the roof removed and a red and white big top installed!!

How cool would that be as a tour bus?? Lol

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Permalink Reply by HOLLOWBELLY on July 4, 2009 at 9:26am

man thank you SO much for this post and the witty comments that followed it-just SO RANDOM! dead clown tools-HAHAHAHAHAHA!! IM SITTING HERE WITH TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE-DAMN THATFEELS GOOD.

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Permalink Reply by Kevin Sprague (Knotlenny) on July 6, 2009 at 2:52am

Hey Randy,
What do you think it would cost to haul one of them double decker clown buses out of the woods, put it back in mint condition and ship it across the pond?

Could I swap you a few cbg's for that?

I'll supply my own dead clowns.

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Permalink Reply by William Bannier on July 6, 2009 at 3:58am

What's the differance between a dead dog in the road and a dead clown in the road?
There's skid marks in front of the dog.

What's the difference between a Mercedes Benz and a dead clown?
I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Permalink Reply by Roosterman on July 6, 2009 at 9:36am

Knotlenny, firstly - I agree entirly with your hypothosis... there is no other explanation in my mind that the world was, sometime between the Triassic and Cretaceous periods, over-run with clowns. How else can one explain the extinction of the dinosaurs? Clearly they were rounded up, taught to balance balls on their horns, 'beg' and 'roll over', and then taken on the road, travelling from village to village in cramped and poor conditions. This poor hygiene, in tandem with becoming disollusined with the entertainment business, was 100% to blame for the extinction. But I digress...

As far as I can see, both buses are already in 'mint' clown condition. In keeping with tradition, everything I touched fell off, making these all the more valuable. The paintwork is still legable (I think you may even be able to carry on using the company clown name - "The Clown Jewels") and both vehicles have obviously been regularly serviced by one of their own.

Il have to check both vehicles for resident dead clowns, as I did detect a humorous musty odour - subject to finding nothing funny, the deal is as good as done.

Only other thing you should know is that there is a large hole just in front of the accelerator pedal.... I assume this is to allow driving in comic size 36 shoes (not supplied).