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SO... A DUCK WALKS INTO A HARDWARE STORE .....

A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- ummm "No." this is a hardware store .. we sell hardware stuff .
- "Got any fresh oranges or apples ?"
- "No.! I just told you , this is a hardware store .
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No." !!!!
- "Got any oranges or apples ?"
- "No.!!!! I told you yesterday, we don’t sell that stuff here ! and If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor so you get the hint !!!"
the next day, the duck walks in and asks:
- "Got any nails?"
- "NO!!!!."
- "Got any fresh fruit?"

this is just one of those lil jokes that stick with ya .. you may find yourself chuckling about it in an hour from now .. even rehearsing it later tonight .. not sure why , or what it is about this joke ,, but its addictive .. so i thought i'd share .

you can thank me or blame me later

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Permalink Reply by Scott aka Farmer Ted on January 25, 2013 at 10:02am

Old Joe the farmer enters the local feed store to buy a milking machine. The clerk says "Joe, you have but one old milking cow. You don't really need a milking machine".

Joe replies, "Yes I do, sell one to me".

Clerk rebuts, "Joe, tell me why you need a $5000 milking machine and then I will sell one to you".

Old Joe blushes and whispers "I was out in the barn this morning milking ol Bessie. She got fiesty and kicked me. So I got behind her and tied her back leg to the post. Then she did it again with the other leg, so I tied that one to the post too. Then she swatted me in the face with her tail."

"So is that why you need the milking machine", the clerk asked.

"No", said Old Joe. "Just as I was grabbing hold of Bessie's tail, my britches came loose and dropped down around my ankles...and my wife walks into the barn to say breakfast was ready".

"So, you gonna sell me that damn milking machine now"?

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on January 25, 2013 at 12:17pm

lol

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Permalink Reply by RTZGUITARS on March 15, 2013 at 7:10pm

Q: Why did the blonde have lip stick on her steering wheel? A: She was trying to blow the horn.

Q: Why does a blonde wear panties? A: To keep her ankles warm.

This might be of topic but it really is any girl with high hair.

What a productive post pick.

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on March 15, 2013 at 8:08pm

;-)

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Permalink Reply by Mark Lindsay on January 25, 2013 at 10:27am

Murphy and O'Brien were out fishing in a boat, and O'Brien hears something bump up against the side of it. He looks over the side and finds a bottle floating along next to the boat. Being a responsible man, he reaches over and pulls the bottle out of the water. He looks at the bottle for a second and pulls the cork out of the top, and of course, a genie pops out.

"Thanks for freeing me, Lad," says the genie (with an Irish accent of course,) "As a reward, I can give ye one wish."

Without hesitating, O'Brien says, "Turn the entire lake into Guinness!"

The genie says, "Ok, you've got it!" POOF! the lake water turns to Guinness and the genie disappears.

Murphy reaches over and slaps the bejeebers out of O'Brien, screaming. "You idiot! Now we've gotta pee in the boat!"

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Permalink Reply by Clock The Wolf on January 25, 2013 at 11:53am

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Permalink Reply by Mark Lindsay on January 25, 2013 at 2:14pm

Two Irishmen walk out of a bar...

Hey, it could happen...

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on January 25, 2013 at 2:28pm

ha !!! :-D

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Permalink Reply by nailtown slim on October 30, 2014 at 9:52pm

Irishman walked into a bar, he screamed 'OUCH THAT HURT'!,

it was an iron bar!

A wig and a turd walked into a bar and ordered two whiskies, the barmen refused to serve them, the turd asked why? the barman said, 'Because you are steaming, and your mate the wig is completely off his head'!

A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of water, the barman said 'why are you only drinking water, when we sell beer and spirits'? The man said 'if you had what I've got, you'd only drink water too'!

The barman said 'I don't want to sound nosey, but what have you got, if you don't mind me asking'?

The man said 'Ten Cents'!