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Permalink Reply by RTZGUITARS on October 20, 2014 at 6:53pm

Sometimes I forget where I am that's why I asked. I'm sure you have no problem removing my lack of class.I'm not Bill Cosby closer too Sam Kinison .

 Society needs a couple vents that say what you're not supposed to say. Sam Kinison

Permalink Reply by RTZGUITARS on October 21, 2014 at 4:55am

NO SEX IN CHURCH PLEASE!

One Sunday, a priest asked one of the church janitor if he would cover his Confession shift for him — he said it was easy, since he had a sin list inside the booth which listed both sins and penance. The janitor agreed and took the booth early on Sunday morning. Soon people showed up.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have committed adultery.”

“Adultery, eh?” the janitor said. “You sly devil. That’ll be three Hail Mary’s, plus five bucks.”

“Thank you, Father.” Another person came into the booth.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have embezzled money from work.”

“Embezzlement, eh? Naughty, naughty. That’ll be 5 Hail Mary’s, plus fourteen bucks.”

“Thank you, Father.” This was easy, the janitor thought. Another person came into the booth.

“Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. I have committed the sin of oral sex.”

“Oral sex, huh?” He looked at the list, but didn’t see oral-sex there. So, he excused himself to look for help. He found an alter boy hanging out on the steps of the church.

“Excuse me,” the janitor said. “What does Father Matthew give for oral sex?”

“Well,” said the boy, “usually just milk and cookies, but sometimes a Snickers.”

The blurred lines of humor, this is funny but it's about sexual abused children by a Priest. WHY?

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Permalink Reply by the anonymous pick on October 21, 2014 at 4:59am

:-)

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Permalink Reply by RTZGUITARS on October 29, 2014 at 11:02am

That's frickin funny right there!

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Permalink Reply by nailtown slim on October 29, 2014 at 1:00pm

A good friend walked straight past me in the street today, never even said hello! I shouted after him,'Hey Jim, aren't you gonna say hello'? He said 'oh, sorry mate, I never saw you, I'm virtually blind without my glasses, sorry'! I said 'where are your glasses then'? he said 'they're being mended mate, I went to kiss my wife on the lips, and she suddenly crossed her legs, broke my glasses and bruised my nose all in one go'!

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Permalink Reply by nailtown slim on October 29, 2014 at 1:10pm

The teacher said 'Johnny, why did you bring your pet cat to school today? you know it's against the rules'! Poor little Johnny just burst into tears and sobbed his little heart out 'because miss, I heard mommy say to the mail man, 'call back later when the kids are at school, and I'll let you eat my pussy'!

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Permalink Reply by nailtown slim on October 29, 2014 at 1:23pm

A woman rings her husband up at work and screams hysterically down the phone at him, 'I was driving down a country lane and as I went round a bend I knocked a pig over and killed him, what shall I do?, what shall I do'? The husband said 'calm down, and tell me, are you sure he's dead'? She said 'yes, I ran over his head and it's totally flat and there's blood everywhere'! The husband said 'did anyone see you do it'? She said 'no, there's no one about at all, the road's completely empty'! The husband said 'O.K. then, just roll the body into a ditch, get back in the car and drive away as quickly as you can, have you got that'? She said 'O.K., if you're sure, but what shall I do with his speed gun'?

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Permalink Reply by nailtown slim on October 29, 2014 at 2:08pm

I loved the music of the 70's and 80's, and I just realised something else too, if Mama Cass Elliot had given Karen Carpenter just half of her sandwiches they'd both still be alive and still making nice music!

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on October 29, 2014 at 3:08pm

Slim, you're a ham ;-)

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Permalink Reply by RTZGUITARS on October 29, 2014 at 5:21pm

Goodnight Folk's and drive home safely.

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Permalink Reply by Thomas "Duck" Petry on October 29, 2014 at 5:50pm

Already safely nested in my pond. :)>

Permalink Reply by Titch the Clown on October 30, 2014 at 1:44am

Just had a tragic death in the family, one of my uncles drowned in a vat of beer. The tragic thing was it took him so long to die. It would have been quicker only he had to get out twice to pee.

The fire brigade came to save him but he fought them off bravely.

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