A duck walks into a hardware store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- ummm "No." this is a hardware store .. we sell hardware stuff .
- "Got any fresh oranges or apples ?"
- "No.! I just told you , this is a hardware store .
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No." !!!!
- "Got any oranges or apples ?"
- "No.!!!! I told you yesterday, we don’t sell that stuff here ! and If you come back tomorrow and ask me the same question, I'll nail your flippers to the floor so you get the hint !!!"
the next day, the duck walks in and asks:
- "Got any nails?"
- "NO!!!!."
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
this is just one of those lil jokes that stick with ya .. you may find yourself chuckling about it in an hour from now .. even rehearsing it later tonight .. not sure why , or what it is about this joke ,, but its addictive .. so i thought i'd share .
you can thank me or blame me later
Tags:
:-o
;-)
Nice one, Uncle John. I've heard some of your other work, you're a story teller! Thanks for sharing. Post the video when it's done!
Thanks, Joe. I might video it some time.
A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the Octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus... "He can play any musical instrument in the world."
Everyone in the bar laughs at the man, calling him an idiot. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.
A bloke walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. Immediately the octopus picks up the guitar and starts playing better than Jimmy Hendrix. The guitar man pays up his $50.
Another bloke walks up with a trumpet. This time the octopus plays the trumpet better than Louis Armstrong. The man pays up his $50.
Then a Scotsman walks up with some bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and then sits down with a confused look. "Ha Ha!" the Scot says. "Ye canie plae it,can ye?"
The octopus looks up at him and says "Play it?.... I'm going to f$#K it as soon as I figure out how to get its pyjamas off!"
This post is so big you don't know what has and hasn't been posted!
XD
:-o
:-D
Indian chief can't fart , so he goes to the doctor ..
"Big Chief. No fart."
Doctor says OK, take this VERY POWERFUL pill and wait 24 hours. Come back tomorrow if ya don't rip an air biscuit .
Next day:
"Big Chief. No fart."
Doctor says OK take TWO pills this time. Come back tomorrow if ya cant pull the one cheek sneak .
Next day:
"Big Chief. No fart."
Doctor says, well... take 3 pills . That should do it.
Next day:
"Big Chief. No fart. Very angry."
Doctor says, here, take the rest of the bottle, that should definitely take care of it.
A few days later a little Indian Brave walks in .
doctor says .. " what's your problem " ?
The Indian Brave says ;
"Big fart. No Chief."
LOL, Pick. Reminds me of an old doc that used to live in my town. And old farmer went to him with a bad sinus infection that even affected his hearing. He told the doc, "I can't even hear myself fart."
The doc gave him antibiotics and told him, "Take these and in a few days your farts will be louder."
lol.. like the blonde that told the doctor .. " it hurts when i touch my knee , and my shoulder , and my foot ,,,,,, and .... etc .. etc ...
doc says " your finger's broken ".
;-)
reflection = LOL.
lines are never really crossed , just the people that drew them are . . ;-)
but i have seen the " family site " speech here before .
altho this is not on the front page , you may still get some ....unintended "reaction" from some .
so with that in mind . well .. its up to you .
i , myself am not offended , but i can see it causing discomfort elsewhere .
i'm not one for censorship ,, but there is something to be said for self censorship . ;-)
thats why i try very hard not to have sex in church ;-)
Well said Mr Pick. Besides, the pews aren't very comfortable and don't offer the room of a good waterbed. Although it does bring to mind a line from the movie "Top Gun". ;-)
:-)
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