Curmudgeons of Cigar Box Nation

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Curmudgeons of Cigar Box Nation

A place for all of us disgruntled old farts to gather and do curmudgeonly things. Stand up and flaunt your attitude! We've earned the right to be grouchy old folks!

Members: 55
Latest Activity: May 25

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FANCY-PANTS GEETARS

Started by Wayfinder. Last reply by Moedecker May 25. 37 Replies

Okay, we don't have any actual discussions going on yet in this forum, and I figure it's nigh about time.Absolutely nothing that follows should be taken at face value. IT WAS GOOD ENOUGH FOR…Continue

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Comment by Bristol Blue on February 10, 2016 at 10:24pm

Duck , you did make me lol after a shitty day at work earlier ;-D

Yeah , Way' , bottled water grrrr !  

Comment by Wayfinder on February 10, 2016 at 10:29am

LOL Duck, good ones. 

If I'm going to pay $1.50 for a bottle of water, it's ruddy well going to have some hopps and alcohol in it.

Comment by Thomas "Duck" Petry on February 10, 2016 at 10:11am

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the asshole's name.

3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then neither does milk.

AND MY PERSONAL FAVORITE...

 5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

 

BONUS RULE:

Condoms do not guarantee safe sex.

A friend was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

Comment by Thomas "Duck" Petry on February 10, 2016 at 10:11am

SIMPLE TRUTH 1:

Lovers help each other undress before sex.

However after sex, they always dress on their own.

Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

 

SIMPLE TRUTH 2:

When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats".

But, none of them comes up to the man - touches his penis and say, "Good job".

Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.

 

Comment by Pete Turner on February 4, 2016 at 11:55am

Out of "focus" good one Duck!  So if don't listen it won't happen? I haven't been listening for years! Just imagine all the crisis that didn't happen because I wasn't listening. They should give me a medal!

Comment by Thomas "Duck" Petry on February 3, 2016 at 9:49am

Ah, Pete, be careful and remember that when you aren't driving, you could be out of focus.

Yes Wayfinder, cigarettes are actually dinosaur repellent.

Comment by Wayfinder on February 3, 2016 at 8:49am

"I seem to remember back in the late 70's & 80's they were warning us a new ice age!?? What happened?"

We didn't listen.   Just because it hasn't happened yet...

It's like leaving the tap on when filling a bathtub.  It'll be fine for a while.

And yeah, you know politicians.  They actually were born with two mouths but had them surgically altered to look like the rest of us.

And nap... mmmmm... naps...

I really am an old fart.  Never thought I'd look forward to naps.

Actually, I don't look forward to them.  They take a huge chunk out of my day that I could be building.

Oh and Bristol, they're not sure whether it was dinosaurs farting or all that cigarette smoke that killed them off.  ; )

Comment by Pete Turner on February 3, 2016 at 8:38am

Man, I knew I should of stayed in bed. Just a couple of quick points:

As a Vietnam Combat Vet I can tell ya there are no atheists in a fox hole.

I'm just a dumb guitar picker, but if I remember 6th grade science learning that the earth constantly goes thru periods of cooling and warming.

I seem to remember back in the late 70's & 80's they were warning us a new ice age!?? What happened?

Last point follow the money: Mr. Gore & others have made millions off global warming all the while flying around in their private jets.

While in college I helped organized the first earth day & pushed for the formation of an ecology dept. Also help start a farmer's market. I own 1 car a Ford Focus so I'm not a red neck as some may think.

Now I really got to take a nap!

Comment by Bristol Blue on February 3, 2016 at 2:35am

It's been said the Dinosaurs literally farted so much they caused global warming and started the ice age. Funny how some young uns refer to us golden oldies as Dinosaurs... 

Comment by Thomas "Duck" Petry on February 3, 2016 at 12:23am

A lot of the problems come from methane gas which has been created by all of the "old farts" farting.

 

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