If cigar box guitars never existed

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Permalink Reply by Uncle Gus on June 16, 2012 at 12:15am

Well, there'd still be cookie tins, right?

Actually, I didn't really know about this whole scene until recently, so I suppose I would have just kept playing my six-string instruments and feeling out of place because I'm not all that into most of the Standard Guitar Gods. I go to Guitar Center for a pack of strings, and I'm like, "This is scene was just not made for me." I asked if they had any blank tapes (for my now-deceased 424) a few years ago, and they looked at me like I was from Jupiter. They found a few under the counter. Caked with dust.

But the CBG scene...there are some serious sonic perverts lurking around here. Just twisted, inventive people and some great players. So I feel like I found My People, sorta; even if I'm not as inventive on the building side of things, I like to think I'm at least warped enough to hang.

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on June 16, 2012 at 1:11am

Clint,

 

Sonic Perverts. Good band name.

 

Guitar Center is easy to navigate. Stay away from the electric guitar and amp section; all the 15-year-old, non-arthritic shredders live there, while their moms and girlfriends clutch their purses and put on fake stoic looks, eyeing the tattos and lip clips with disdain, fear and fascination. Go to the expensive back room in the Acoustic section, where the Taylors and Martins live. That's where the older gents with money hang. Kids tend not to go there, and you can often hear some amazing talent trying out some of the best instruments ever made. And the wood floors make a CBG sound amazing. I've found the repair guys, the door checkers, and acoustic guys are usually those most interested in them.

 

Although it is fun to take one, plug it into a Marshall stack, crank it to 11, and watch the acne crowd turn around in wonder when wanking with a slide.

In fact, if CBGs didn't exist, I'd still be going to GC to try out instruments.

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Permalink Reply by Uncle Gus on June 16, 2012 at 6:42am

That's the problem...The Others have taken over the acoustic room at the local GC, too. It is the land of bored girlfriends and dudes trying to play "Hotel California." Which is fine...it's an okay song and it's fun to play if you dig it, but why make your poor girlfriend stand there for an hour?

Although, I do usually keep a slide in my pocket, and if I hit the GC, and if they happen to have a resonator in stock, sometimes I'll tune one to open G and play a little "Roll and Tumble" or "Terraplane Blues." You can tell it freaks people out a bit, and they'll try to listen (without looking like they're listening, of course). So it's a small way of spreading the gospel of steel-appendage guitar.

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on June 16, 2012 at 7:28am

I find the best way to drive 'em out is to play AND sing;-).

Or play "Stairway..." backwards (reverse the chords). That freaks 'em out because they can almost recognize the song (and will give you a good workout, too.). Or mumble to yourself about the guv'mint, and the Viet Cong, and homelessness, while playing "Wish You Were Here." Or wear sunglasses, and pretend to be blind, just before verbally admiring the shiny finish on the black Takamine cutaway. Or announce loudly that your custom signature Taylor 1014 ce Grand Baroque is still at the factory, awaiting its final coat of rare wasabi handcreme, before you go on tour. Offer to sign their T-shirt in your own blood, as a personal reminder of the transitoryness of life. Express a fondness for the acoustic stylings of Joan Baez, Black Flag, and emo phillips. Ask to see the ukeleles, while waxing rapturous about Tiny Tim and Roy Smeck.

All while eyeing the bored girlfriends speculatively. Nothing clears a room faster than weird 'n' creepy.

But only do it once a month or so; the poor guy at the desk has gotta eat, too. Make friends with him by asking him when the last time was he played a Martin 00-18, and get him the commish on the string sets.

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Permalink Reply by Swamp Dawg Primal Music on June 17, 2012 at 8:28am

Or just play Misfits and Black Flag fingerstyle with a slide.

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Permalink Reply by Andy B on June 16, 2012 at 1:18am

yea, nice to find a place where the "twisted inventive" can gather

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on June 16, 2012 at 1:02am

Beer. Playing live when I can. Writing songs. Acting. Singing in choirs. Getting fatter and grayer.

 

Not too much different from now, really >:-E

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Permalink Reply by Andy B on June 16, 2012 at 1:23am

Oliy,

 I just love that Beer is the first ingredient in the recipe of life....I think ill have another! 

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on June 16, 2012 at 1:55am

Have one for me, too. Homemade barley sodas rule. >:-E

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Permalink Reply by robert jones on June 16, 2012 at 6:30pm

Heck yeah!  Alaskan Smoked Porter clone in the attached photo, 52 of 'em in the cellar aging for the 4th and starting an IPA Monday.

The smoked Porter looks like Coke when it's poured out keeps a decent head and has a light smoke flavor, killer with grilled food.

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Permalink Reply by Ron "Oily" Sprague on June 17, 2012 at 6:38am

I had the original at the brewery last summer...mmmmmmmmmm!

 

Got a blend I have to bottle and carbonate for a party in 10 days: 1/2 dark ale, one half "lawnmower" ale, blended into a kinda amber. Used molasses, 2.5 liters of actual Coke, 2 different pelletized *hops, Holstein N/A as a base,and 1 pound Hershey's chocolate syrup, 4 cans of barley *malt, along with a pearled barley sludge and some port wine yeast for the dark, and a similar base but with citrusy pellet *hops and a proper beer yeast for the lawnmower. It actually worked out pretty well; the second half of the 10 liter batch has sat undisturbed for a year in glass.

 

*Because we have to *ahem* import our own "rabbit and hamster food"

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Permalink Reply by robert jones on June 17, 2012 at 8:35am

LOL...Molasses...port wine yeast...yep, won't take but a couple of those to get ya right. Last time I made an Imperial including those two ingredients I finished out just under 13%.

I'm betting several of us around here have well fed pet rodents. ;) (I preserve grapes and apples every year; honey too when I can it at the right price.)

Hey, gotta fuel and lubricate the creative process somehow.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: 5, one to hold the bulb while the other 4 drink beer until the room spins.

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